My fears about Law School

I left my home yesterday! Goodbye Lubbock TX, I'll miss you. But helllooooo Columbus OH! It's scary and exciting all at the same time. I have some general fears about leaving LBK but there are others that seem a little harder to shake off. 

Fear is a funny thing. So many phobias stem from the fear of something (arachnophobia, glossophobia, acrophobia to list a few). But the definition of fear is, quite literally just an unpleasant feeling caused by the thought that someone or something may be a danger to you. That’s it! 

I bring this up because when thinking of the things I’m fearful of about starting school in a new city, they all seem silly but when over-analyzed (my strong suit), all justified. 

So lets over analyze and break them down together! Yay!

Fear #1: That no one will like me. Ok, hear me out. High school wasn’t the best time for me. I made plenty of friends but enemies as well. Long story short, I hated it all and would do many things differently given the chance. BUT I learned my lesson and will not be repeating them. That being said, I’ve read plenty of blogs and books that Law School is just like High School. You see the same people every day, cliques start to form, people gossiping about who did what.. i.e. High school. Only this is worse because it's at the professional level. Call me crazy but I’d like to not be the laughing stock of my new school.

Fear #2: That I’ll make a fool out of myself in front of my colleagues and professors. So there’s this thing in Law School called Cold Calling, which is when a professor will pick a student out of the class and grill them about a certain case or the assigned reading for that day. Basically torture for anyone with high anxiety (Law Students). You know when Elle Woods gets kicked out of class on the first day of Harvard Law because she didn’t know what was going on when she got cold called? Yeah, I’m terrified that’s going to happen to me. I know that if I’m prepared, I’ll be fine… but what if I choke?! 

Fear #3: That I will fail miserably. Let me tell you something a little annoying about myself. I’m a planner. The big things in my life, already planned. I have several options in what direction I want my life to go in, but for the most part, it’s pretty clear and concise for me. Now, I’ve worked incredibly hard to get to this point, so much so that I really can’t afford to fail. But what happens if I do? That’s not part of the plan. Where would my life go from there? This one is a deep rooted fear, but instead of letting it consume me, I’ve decided to let it be my drive.

So those all seem justified after my long, drawn out explanations, right? I think so! (: 

Comment below and let me know if I'm just mad or if you understand where I'm coming from!

- Melli